Strength

I'm sitting here and I have absolutely no idea what to write.  

I'm not mad.  I'm honestly amused.  I just lack the words to actually put my words onto the screen?  

I have been mulling this over since yesterday afternoon.  I listened to the conversation again, I transcribed it so I could write about it later, but figured I'd just go ahead and write. I'm letting it flow. 

Sunday morning when I got up, both Casey and I were in a great mood.  We had a wonderful Saturday afternoon and attended a wedding on the beach.  Casey did a TikTok about being nervous about going to an event in full girl mode that went totally viral (and is still getting a LOT of views).  

She was adorable, the dress was amazing, everything was amazing.  Everyone was pretty nice.  She was so nervous, but we were together and it was a very small and intimate affair and she honestly did better than I was expecting.   I was expecting to have to leave early.  I was expecting to have to give one of the xanax's that I had stashed in my purse for emergencies.  Thankfully, neither happened.  I honestly think the tiktok that she did gave her a lot of confidence - people were telling her that she looked great, that she was worthy, that she was amazing and everything was going to be okay.  I have been scared of trolls, honestly.  I was scared that this would turn bad and she would become suicidal again. 

I'm happy to report that this isn't the case.  It has been good.   With the exception of the phone call we received on Sunday afternoon. 

The funny thing?  There was something fluttering in my stomach on Sunday morning.  As I was in the shower, I told Casey that I suspected that we were going to get a phone call if not today, sometime in the very near future.  

And I was right. 

Casey's parents called Sunday afternoon.  We saw the phone number on the caller ID and boom! Instant mini-panic attack.  Casey's heart was pounding, my heart was pounding.  We didn't know where it was going to go.  We didn't know what to expect.  So, we answered the phone and I hit record on my phone. 

It was a lot of platitudes and trying to make it seem like they did nothing wrong.  It was a lot of excuses, and when we called them on it, they tried turning stuff around.  It was a lot of "do you want a relationship with us or not?"  

Um, no... How about this - if you want a relationship with us, then there are certain things that you need to change.  End of discussion.  

My theory? I think that they are on the outs with their other child and they aren't getting their narcissistic supply.  So, our answer?  Hold the boundaries.  We didn't give them an inch. 

They refused to properly gender Casey correctly.  They refused to take responsibility for any of the issues that we brought up over a year ago now.  They were more pissed off about the letters that I wrote than actually making amends.  It's like... Seriously!?  How did they expect us to behave?  It's like they expected us to just say okay and just ignore everything that has gone on between us.  

They put the burden of maintaining the relationship on us, when it has been on us to maintain the relationship for the past 17 years of our marriage and then, on top of that, flat out told us that they were never going to be "that type" of person.  They refused to acknowledge that any of their behavior towards us was poor in the slightest.  

It was unproductive, but at least now we know where we stand.  At least now we're not worrying about stuff anymore.  At least now we see that they're no where near anywhere ready to actually have a conversation. 

And that's how it's going to be.