Forward.

My blog has been silent for a little while.  Apologies to anyone following our story.  Things have been very busy to say the least.  

After Casey's birthday I took a trip up north to my Dad's.  He had shoulder surgery and I was taking care of him.  I had a very good time, albeit hot as the air conditioner on the second story of his home did not work.  Thankfully, it would get cool enough in the evenings where I was able to sleep.  I got home the day before my birthday and did not want to do much of anything and that was exactly what I did for my birthday - not much of anything. 

It was around that time that we also decided to move.  Two years ago in June we decided that Florida was where we wanted to be.  We're staying in Florida, but we are moving to a home north of where we live.  It's out in the country, it's lovely, Casey is currently getting the house ready while my work schedule has picked up exponentially.  I feel bad about not contributing to getting the house ready, but Casey has told me time and time again that my strengths do not lie in the manual labor part.  My strengths lie in the logistics - scheduling movers for the big stuff, the piano, getting the kids set up for school, doctors appointments, dentist appointments, etc.  

So, I've embraced it.  Between the two of us, we are getting lots of stuff done, taking boxes over every day and basically knocking everything down fairly quickly.  Our official move date is less than 2 weeks away and this is by far the least stressful move I've ever made.   In case you're curious, we are getting a PO Box for mail to be sent to.  Both Casey and I have discussed it and we do not want her parents knowing where we live.   It has been a relief knowing that they are not even in the state and can't just "pop by."  It's not like they ever did, but I don't want that stress.  Not having that stress, not having to plan to leave my own house if they show up has been very nice. 

Transition-wise, Casey's body continues to change.  I've been enjoying the changes as much as she has.  She goes out in public in girl mode more and more frequently now.  Last night was the first time in several weeks that she felt uncomfortable in public.  We had stopped at a gas station on the way home from shooting off some fireworks at my biological family's home (what an amazing 4th we had!) and since our home is waaaaaaayyyyy out in the boonies, there are some rather suspect people out there that are very much not in the same demographics as we are.  Casey asked me to go pre-pay for the gas (the gas station didn't even have a pump with a swiper!) because she was getting some looks from the locals.  So, I went into the gas station, it got very quiet, but I very politely and happily paid, giving everyone big smiles and basically being my very happy Jess self.  

I have found myself reaching for Casey's hand more and more in public, touching the small of her back, leaning on her arm.  I very much want people to know that Casey is my person.  I love her and I'm very protective of her.   Most of our friends are correctly gendering her now, as are the people that I work with.  Yes, every so often we slip back into "he" when we're talking, but when I do it, I try to instantly correct myself. Casey knows that she still looks very masculine and stuff will happen, but I need to learn. 

We move forward.  It is a slow process, but we're heading in the right direction.  The biggest thing was on the kids school registration.  It asked for gender for the parents on one of the forms.  I asked Casey what she would like me to select.  Casey decided female.  I noticed I walked myself back a bit when we were going to do it, but in the end, we selected female.  Casey said it best: "We have to start somewhere."

So, here we are... another big move.  The new house already feels more like home than our current home does.  We are planning big things and we are getting more and more comfortable with our roles. The anxiety is slowly starting to lessen and in another month we will be settled.  

I'm looking forward to having some fun.