Departures & Arrivals

This week has been filled with so many changes, I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed.  Thankfully, the lexapro is still going strong and I haven't had an anxiety attack as bad as the one I had a few weeks ago; I'm calling that a very very strong win.  

The biggest change is that I left my position at work this week.  I'm branching out with my business partner and hoping that our new endeavor will do even better than before.  I thought I was going to be more stressed about the change than I have been.  I'm not worried, I'm not scared.  I'm in "I've got this" mode.  I feel pretty good about most everything work-related.    They were all very supportive and understanding and that is awesome.  I feel blessed to have them as friends. 

You're not here to hear about work, though.  

You're here for the tea and the tea is about to spill. 

Remember when I joked about buying another house, moving and not telling the in-laws?  Well, they beat me to the punch.  

30 days passed since we knew roundabout when they had their second covid vaccine and that little part of my brain that can't seem to leave well enough alone started working. Both Casey and I have predicted for a while that they were going to move.  This is par for the course for them as they never stay in one place too long.  I decided to see if their house had gone on the market and low and behold the house went under contract on March 26.  

I was expecting that.  Casey was expecting that.  I don't think either of us actually expected them to leave and not tell us, though.   My brain is a very odd place.  As much as I say that I wouldn't allow them in our house, I am 100% positive that if they had stopped by to tell us that they were leaving, I would have left the house and given them some time together.  Just because I don't want to see them, doesn't mean that I would ever want to keep them from visiting with Casey.  My anger (nonplussed would be a better word for it, because I'm completely dumbfounded) however, comes from the fact that they didn't call.  They didn't stop by.   

As the story (or rather lack thereof) unfolded, my brain started on overdrive.  I was angry at them for doing what they did.  I was angry at them for treating Casey the way they have been treating her.  I was angry at the fact they seem to want nothing to do with our kids, I'm angry that they don't behave the way I think parents should behave towards their children or grandchildren.  I'm angry that they don't seem to understand what the word family means. 

It makes me so angry that they aren't getting a chance to see the amazing woman that Casey is becoming.  It makes me angry that Casey's parents don't get a chance to see a REAL smile.  I hate the fact that they will never be able to see those moments of peace when she's simply glowing because her mind is finally at peace.  They've seen the dysphoria without actually knowing it was there.  They dealt with her depression as a teen and a young adult.  They have seen Casey feeling broken, working construction, feeling horrible about everything.  They have seen the worst... They're missing out on the best. 

I don't know why, but I decided to reach out to Casey's sister.  I told her that we found out that his parents left, that they didn't inform Casey, and that believed what they did was absolutely unacceptable.  His sister texted back that we would need to talk to them, that it didn't really go so well when she spoke on their behalf.  She also said that she didn't want to be in the middle of something when it was really between them and Casey.   

I go back and forth on how I feel about that.  Mostly, I feel good about the interaction.  We texted back and forth for a bit; it was my "olive branch."  I really hope that we have good interactions going forward.  I am playing very very close to the vest, though.  The trust is just not there.  

As far as Casey's parents are concerned.  I'm expecting them to call and make some excuse.  Something to the effect of "Oh, we were so busy because everything happened so fast."  On the listing, their house was already completely empty.  They were done with that chapter and they slammed the door on that chapter.   At first, it struck me that they were going to use me as a scapegoat for not coming by.  "Jess doesn't want us there."  I was sad and upset for a day, thinking very much about how they haven't heard how deep our son's voice is getting.  Our youngest wants to garden, her grandma always had a garden. I'm sad that my youngest is missing out on that.   I don't know what changed, but I was sitting on the couch and it hit me- they're adults. It's their own doing.  They made their choice.  I wasn't angry that they moved.  I could care less if someone wants to move.  It's HOW they proceeded. 

Last week, Casey's anxiety bubbled over and as she sat, sobbing under the shower, she said "I miss my Mom."  I had almost emailed them and said this has to stop.  I didn't.  There was something that stopped me.  This time, though, after stewing for several hours, I pulled the trigger.  

I congratulated them on the sale of their house.  I informed them that they were the worst people in the world and that I hope they had a nice life.  I also informed them to not bother writing back.   

Both Casey and I are disappointed for sure.  They want the door closed, locked, barred, what have you.  I'll respect that.  It's more than they've done for us.